Excerpts from Why Epiphanies Never Occur to Couch Potatoes

Epiphany (noun) ; 1. a. A Christian feast celebrating the manifestation of the divine nature of Jesus to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi. b. January 6, on which this feast is traditionally observed. 2. A revelatory manifestation of a divine being. 3. a. A sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something. b. A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization. (For the purposes of this book, we are dealing with the third definition, parts a and b.)

Like Steinbeck, I set this down not so much to inform others but to remind myself. This book started as a luncheon speech at the Merit Direct B-to-B Coop on July 14, 2005. The speech and now this book have been a companion ever since, reminding me that there is much more to communicating besides words. And speaking of communicating…

My speaking coach, Maggie Bedrosian, wrote this about our first encounter: “I think we first met at the Tower Club in Virginia. I was amazed at his earthy, opinionated style. “How does he survive,” I asked myself, “in the business environment where a polished patina often outshines real content?” 

Many people feel this way after a “close encounter” with the anomaly I seem to be. You may feel that way while you are reading this book....

...In my market, I often say things that other people are thinking, but have neither the venue nor desire to say out loud. As the way I say things can often be edgy, many people read my enewsletter and listen to my radio show.  My candor has created a significant audience.

My edge has always been there, as it makes things more fun for me. It is part of that attitude. But the edge is not designed to be mean spirited, just factual. I try not to launch personal attack…..

...I think many people have books in them that just never come out. I think many people have great ideas that, for many reasons, never come to fruition. I have no desire to be a person who says things like, “I could have done that,” or “I had that same idea years ago.” These are the swan songs of the couch potato, the person who always has something impeding the thought-meets-action process.  The impediment often takes the form of a sporting event, a “reality” show, the sports page or something else on television, providing a seemingly acceptable rationale for inaction, or as it is often viewed, delayed action. It is simply delayed ad infinitum.

Well meaning as they may be, as a rule, these are not the people likely to cause an epidemic of goal-direct actions in their immediate vicinity.

I have no desire to join their ranks. I am almost always carrying a pen and pad in case of an outbreak of the ever-elusive great line, or other random thought that occurs at strange times. I will get up in the middle of the night to write down one sentence, or an entire line of thought.  My children often ask why I make notes during Mass. I will call my office answering machine if I am driving to record thoughts. I am loathe to let thoughts escape unnoticed, unexamined and unused.

So, why me? First, I have read several books in ethics/morality/success space and several of them are quite good. Several others are the reading equivalent of watching paint dry. Only a few writers and speakers, Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Mark Victor Hansen, Chris Gardner, Lee Milteer, and Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, in particular, move me to action. If you want or need to read a truly inspiring story, read The Pursuit of Happyness.

Further, I believe I bring a different perspective, having started with a business speech on Survival and Success and evolving into a practical philosophy for living, while retaining the edge that sets me apart. The message, as a result, might get through to broader audiences,

As I mentioned in the Warning to the Reader, I am not linear in my approach, so I needed something – somewhere – to start a continuing dialogue with myself, then include others. I needed to create a forum, somewhere I could place these random thoughts for further perusal and discussion. Writing the book was the dialogue with myself; people reading the book broadens the dialog; www.EpiphanyBook.com will allow readers to share thoughts with each other and me, continue the dialog. So during your journey through this brief book, should you desire to share your thoughts, go to www.EpiphanyBook.com , register, and share on the blog...

...I am not God’s brightest child.  I have never been a quick learner, often to the chagrin of parents and teachers. This has not bothered me since I was about twelve. It has been said that subtlety is wasted on me. While this may or may not be true, I have yet to lose sleep over it.

Nor am I among His quickest children.  I like to observe and absorb, and often take longer than many to reach my conclusion, unless my mouth decides to voice a conclusion before my brain is finished. Most of the time I do not like to feel like I am rushed (though my children may feel differently when I am driving). I do not wear a watch, as I tend to operate at my own pace, and for most things during my normal day I do not need to know the time. This is can be a great perk when you work for yourself, if you are able to take advantage of it.

I am, however, among His most persistent.  Many things do not come easy for me, but once I catch on, they tend to stay with me. I can put something down for a while – often a long while – then come back, pick it up, and proceed.

One desire that has been recurrent in my life is a need for a constant – something concrete, perhaps evolving, but something I can count on – like the security blanket Linus uses in the “Peanuts” comic strip. Many people seem to share this need and it can take different forms: members of your family, a particular place you can go, certain friends, or religion or its earthly representative -a pastor, priest or rabbi...

...When you are ripe for it, someone or something will come along with the next great idea, you know the one, it’s almost-but-not-quite-too-good-to-be-true, perhaps the “Dunkin Donut Diet” (I knew they were good for me!).  When it presents itself to you, know it for what it is: yet another alliterative delusion. It will show up in your email, your mail box, at a business meeting, in a bar, at the gym – anywhere.

Most of us have fallen for more than a couple of these along Life’s Boulevard.  And we also knew (deep down) that it was too good to be true, but went ahead because we wanted it to be true, we were tired of waiting for our proverbial boat to come in. It is analogous to planning your retirement by buying lottery tickets; the payoff may be great, but the odds are a little long...

...I left this employment with no prospects for another job – and less desire to seek one. This was in mid-December in 1984. The next day I did an assessment of myself: big mouth that operates with minimal supervision from brain, some skills in marketing, some contacts in my industry, and the idea that working for others would always entail living down to their expectations, not up to mine.

I will not delude myself or mislead you. I had no idea how to run a business, so naturally I started one...

...I did lots of favors, volunteered some time, and became part of a community. After a while, I gained some visibility in this community, and kept doing the same things. I became a recognized “expert” at one aspect of my market, and bothered to share much of what I learned. I also kept meeting more people from different parts of my market...

...Also not long after that (still late 1980s) I was talking to another friend of mine, Joan April. Up to this time I was selling data I compiled from various government sources. I always made sure the data was more accurate than anywhere else, but that was my business – quality, up-to-date, easy-to-use. Joan called occasionally, and this time when she was getting ready to hang up, she said, “What’s great about talking to you is you never send me a bill.”  People might pay me for what I knew? What a concept!

The consulting side of my business was born, though it took me a while to figure out that consultants had to charge a fair amount of money to be taken seriously. Suffice it to say that I now charge a “fair amount” of money. And I still have occasion to talk to Joan.

So now Mark the consultant was off and running, or as some would come to see it, lose and dangerous. I was looking for people to irritate (and invoice) with my esoteric knowledge.…

...During this period, I developed and maintained a friendship with a woman who wrote an occasional column for one of the trade publications, Government Computer News – another place I worked briefly. The woman, Lynn Bateman, was an expert in the federal procurement regulations and consulted with many of the top companies in the market. Lynn was one of the two big consultants offering guidance on contracting and procurement at that time. I would occasionally call or visit her offices and she was kind enough to act as my unofficial mentor. Many times she would encourage, cajole or otherwise offer direction. She taught me several things I took to heart: to trust my instincts, not to pull my punches when I was right, and to be known for honest views. Not all of these instructions were verbal. Lynn’s competence and confidence came through with resounding clarity when she spoke publicly or privately. She knew her business and was confident in her ability.

I did my best to follow her footsteps and am happy to report she thinks I did pretty well -so far. Like Han Solo’s advice to Luke after Luke shoots down one of the bad guys, I can hear Lynn telling me “Don’t get cocky, boy.”

...A life-changing event in one’s personal life does not have to be huge in order to be significant, to have profound impact. Witness the one phone call with Joan April that led to adding paid consulting to my repertoire. The financial repercussions were enormous.

So, keep your eyes, ears, mind and heart open, and the epiphanies will find you. Follow them and enjoy the journey they take you on. Do not let them escape unnoticed, unexamined and unused.